My first failed outing with 3 kids

So, I really love being a mom. So much so, that sometimes I over estimate how much I can handle. 

Today, I decided to go on an outing to the zoo with the Kentuckiana Babywearers group. I went to the zoo last week with my friend Elizabeth, and she was a great help, but I just kind of figured I could do it on my own. I didn't want to ask her to do it again because she is pregnant and almost full-term and I could tell she was very tired after our last trip (I was, too, and I'm not even pregnant anymore!). I got a zoo membership for Mother's Day, and I want to use it as much as possible, so that is another reason I decided to go today. 

Let's start at the beginning of the day. I was out of lunch food and I wanted to pack our lunches, so I got everyone ready early and we headed to the grocery store. I go to Kroger because they have a double car on the front of some of the carts, which makes it easier with the boys. They usually are all out and ready to go if you go early in the morning, but they were all gone today. I decided it was fine and we would just go through the store with the boys helping me push the cart. Evangeline was wrapped in the Moby and I walked awkwardly along with the boys. Micah fell down twice because Canaan was pushing too quickly, so I decided to put him in the seat of the cart. To my surprise, he actually liked it. In the past he has not wanted to sit in the cart. So, on we go. Eva wrapped on my front, Micah in the cart, and Canaan pushing, with me to the side guiding the cart along. Eventually, we finished our shopping in about twice the time it should have taken. No big deal. I'll go home and pack our lunch and we will go to the zoo. 

Back home, lunches packed, change and feed Eva one more time, make sure the boys use the bathroom before we leave, and get in the car. Load the wagon into the back. Off we go.

Our meet-up was scheduled for 11AM. I'm not really sure why, but the zoo was PACKED. I had to park in the very last row of the lot, which is very large. I decided to put the boys right in the wagon because we were running late. Eva was once again wrapped in the Moby. We reached our group and we were still waiting on people. The boys got into the lunch bag and ate all of their lunch and then asked for my sandwich. At this point, pulling the wagon and carrying the diaper bag and baby, I'm starting to realize this was a bad idea, but I need to keep going. I'm here now, no turning back. We all go into the zoo and Micah tells me he needs to use the toilet. I tell everyone I will catch up with them. Both boys are out of the wagon now and Canaan insists on pulling it himself. He has problems looking where he is walking anyway, so he runs into people and things and I am just trying to get Micah to the bathroom on time. They both use the bathroom, but one of them somehow pees on his shorts anyway. I change him. Canaan again insists on pulling the wagon. I must press on. The boys are going to have a great time.

The baby starts crying. My baby who never cries is crying. Okay, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe pressing on is an even worse idea. I somehow convince the boys to get back into the wagon and we go all the way back to the car. We were at the zoo for an hour and didn't see one animal. 

You know, I'm really just glad I made the decision to leave before there were any meltdowns, including any I might have myself. Thankfully, the boys didn't question me as we left the zoo. When we got in the car and started to pull away, Canaan said, "Thank you, Mommy."

Man, I love those kids.

Evangeline Grace

Well, I figured it was time to give everyone an update. I'm sorry if there are a million and one typos; I'm doing this on my phone.

I'll skip the labor and delivery story for now-- but I will say that she came right on her due date and contractions started just before my bedtime, so I went into labor without any sleep. We got to the hospital at 1:30 AM and she was born at 6:48 AM-- an extremely fast labor!

Let me first say that Eva is fine. She is eating well, sleeping, and rarely fusses about anything. Right after she was born, the nurses found that she had a temperature of 101. They took my temperature and saw that I had a fever of 101 as well. My fever went down quickly, but hers only went down to 100, then 99.7. I was negative for Group B strep, so they said her risk factors were low, but that they wanted to do some blood tests to make sure she didn't have an infection. She was eating a lot and our room was warm, so I figured she was probably just getting overheated and chose to not worry about anything until we got the blood test results.

When the results came in, a doctor came to talk to us. She said that her white blood cell count was fine, but that her "bands" were a little high. She described these to us as immature white blood cells. She said that she didn't want to treat her yet, but she did want to do a blood culture to see if anything would grow, indicating some sort of infection. That meant a 48 hour test, and we would be in the hospital until late Sunday afternoon. I was expecting to go home Sunday morning, so a few extra hours didn't seem so bad. Also, her fever was already gone, so the only reason they had to worry were the blood test results.

They also did another round of blood tests. Saturday morning, a different doctor came to talk to us. He said that her bands count had gone down but that her white blood cell count was up and that she had a high CRP, also indicative of infection. He said that he wanted to move her to the NICU and start an antibiotic IV, which she would need for another 48 hours. (Okay, so now we won't be taking her home until Monday night.)  He also said that if the antibiotics didn't bring down her white blood cell count and CRP, they would do a spinal tap. He then reassured us that they simply don't take chances with newborns with fevers and signs of infections, and that he fully expected us to go home with a healthy baby on Monday.

Last night, she spent the night in the NICU. I went in to feed her every three hours, and she seems just as content as ever. In fact, she's becoming a champion breastfeeder. It was hard to see her with an IV stuck in her hand, especially when she seems just fine on the outside. I'm also getting antsy to get home. I miss my big boys so much!

We did find out from her blood tests last night and this morning that her CRP is coming down, but isn't within normal range yet. It started at 29, was 16 last night, and was 14 as of 4 AM this morning. It should be below a 10 to be within normal range.

Please pray that Eva's blood test results will be within normal range by tomorrow. Also, her blood culture hasn't grown anything so far, but pray that it doesn't... We will get those results this evening.

Again, by all appearances, Eva seems to be a completely healthy 8 lb 4 oz baby, so thank Jesus with us for that. My main concern right now is that things start to look better before they decide to do a spinal tap and that I can continue breastfeeding her for the one day she will be in the NICU and I won't have a room here at the hospital. Since we believe it will just be one day, I'll be staying in the NICU waiting room tonight and all day tomorrow so I can continue breastfeeding on demand. If she ends up staying longer, we'll figure out the breastfeeding situation from there.

Thank you for your prayers and all your warm words since Evangeline was born. We are just enjoying her so much. She's so soft and cuddly and sweet. I wish every one of you could hold her for at least a minute. :) Thank you again, and we love you all!

"Thank you"

Something really beautiful has started happening lately. I remember a while back, I read a facebook post from a friend about how her daughter asked for something with a "please" and then responded with a "Thank you, Mommy" after her need was met. I remember thinking that this little girl was so young to be saying things like that already and that this woman must be a really great mom (which, of course, she is).

Then, when a year passed, and then 18 months passed, my boys still weren't saying much at all. I've always known that boys' speech development tends to be more delayed than girls', but then I read that twins' speech development is also delayed because they have a language of their own with each other. I could see this in my boys for sure, so I wasn't really worried about their speech development too much. I was, however, concerned that they were still grunting and whining when they wanted something instead of saying "please" and that they couldn't say "thank you" to someone after they gave them a drink or a bite of their food. So, a few months ago, I really started trying to get them to say "thank you" after I handed them their drink. After we got that down, I worked on getting them to say "please" before I filled their drinks for them. I was so happy when I got them to do all of those things, and it made me feel a little better... about MYSELF as a parent, which is kind of silly.

Recently, though, something has happened that I didn't teach them. They now say "thank you" every time I do ANYTHING for them. They say it after I put them in the swing and when I take them out of the swing (if they have asked to be taken out). They say it after I wash their hands. They say it when I hand them a toy. They say it when I hug them. They say it AFTER EVERY DIAPER CHANGE. That's probably my favorite one. I absolutely love changing diapers now because I get to hear a cute little "thank youuuuuuuu" afterwards. Did I teach them to say thank you for every little thing? No. I think God knew I needed to hear it a little more often. It's not because I'm a good mom. It's because He's a good God, and He loves me a lot. Oh, and it's also because my kids are awesome.

A little pregnancy craziness for you...

A couple of weeks or so ago, I was under this cloud of morning sickness(all-day sickness, actually), exhaustion, and general moodiness. One night I burst out crying at the dinner table. This is actually a funny story now, so I'll go ahead and tell it. Joshua was starting to get stressed about whether or not he would be placed in a good school. Now, Joshua is not a worrier. When he does worry, it means the situation is BAD, and with me being sick and tired and moody, it made me stressed. He had Pandora playing while we were eating, and "our" song came on.

QUICK (or not so quick) BACK-STORY:

It's pretty cheesy, but before Joshua and I really started dating... you know, that period of time (which didn't last long for us) where you don't tell the person you like them, but you do everything possible to make yourself seem like the most perfect person on Earth so that they will fall head over heels in love with you and you will live happily ever after? Yeah, during that time... Joshua came over to my apartment and we were hanging out with the rest of our "group," and he sang a few worship songs and then played a couple of love songs. This was the first love song he sang, and my guy friend at the time informed me through Facebook messages that the song was totally intended for me. Sigh. It was sweet and cheesy and pretty much sickening for everyone around us, but I just dearly love the song because of it.

END BACK-STORY

So, the song starts playing and Joshua looks at me and suddenly a peace comes over his face. "Oh, it's the song. You know, everything is gonna be okay." My head hit the table and I started crying. I mean, heaving sobs. The boys looked confused. Joshua ran to get me tissues and tried to console me, but I think I sobbed for a good five minutes straight, but it felt more like ten.

So, I tell you this story so you can get a picture of my craziness during my first trimester. Also, because of the sickness and exhaustion, Joshua did most of the cooking and cleaning... because he's amazing that way.

For the last couple of weeks, though, I've been back to the whole mom and wife thing. I even made cookies after dinner tonight! (I know, supermom material here.) It's nice knowing that I can do my "job" again. :) I'm just so happy to be feeling better. God is good.

Contentment

It seems that I'm learning the same lesson over and over again lately. Then again, it's one of those lessons you only learn after being beaten over the head with it a few times, because life can be scary. Being married is a big responsibility, but being a parent makes those responsibilities seem more real. These responsibilities make us worry. In the last few months, we've worried about Joshua being placed at a decent school, paying bills, whether or not I could be on his insurance plan through his employer because of the pregnancy (don't worry-- that worked out:)), and even getting groceries or gas at times. It's funny how no matter how many times God answers our prayers with a much better situation than we even thought to ask for, my first reaction to any sort of adversity is worry.

I'm happy to report that these moments of panic are slowly but surely becoming moments rather than days or months. Sure, my first reaction is an increased heart rate and a feeling of utter dread, but it is now quickly followed by a reminder that He has never let us go without. I don't lie awake at night worrying. I can't say that this is something I have worked hard to achieve. Like I said, it's simply a result of month after month of seeing God do amazing things for our family. It's kind of getting hard to NOT trust Him. Am I really starting to feel thankful for the hard times? Wow, I think I am.

These verses have been running through my head for a month or so now:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

Contentment. That is the lesson He is teaching me.

Catch up with the Marshes...

So, every once in a while you may see a post from me on Facebook that confuses you.

"Wait, they are living where?" "Wait, they have how many kids?"

Yeah, it's been a crazy couple of years. Let me explain:

Most of you probably know that when Joshua and I got married, I moved up to Norfolk, VA where he was working on his doctorate in chemistry at ODU. Almost two years later, the twins were born. They weren't exactly expected, so our 5-10 year plan changed a bit. Joshua decided to take a masters instead of the doctorate so that we could start living above a typical graduate student level income.

Joshua got a temporary job in Tennessee with one of his undergraduate professors. She was wonderful and offered him a job immediately, but he was only an adjunct faculty member and was looking for a more permanent solution. This same wonderful professor passed along an opportunity she ran across for him.

This opportunity took us from Johnson City, TN to Louisville, KY. For the last year, Joshua has been student teaching through a program called GSKYTeach (Graduate Southern Kentucky Teach). This program is through Western Kentucky University. Basically, he was a graduate student again! This time, it took him one year to earn a master's degree in education. The deal with this program is that they pay you to student teach and take classes for a year, and when you are finished, you are asked to teach in Jefferson County Public Schools for at least 3 years. He is now certified to teach science at the high school level. What was nice about this program is that he is guaranteed a job for the next three years. He got a contract with JCPS this summer, so he knew he would have a job either way, but he still hadn't been placed into a school.

It's been a frustrating summer watching all of his other friends from the program getting jobs. I know how hard he worked this year, and I've witnessed what a great teacher he is. He rarely came home before the kids went to bed during the week. He poured hours into lesson plans and grading. It was hard to see him work so hard and then not even get a call until late in the summer. His interviews would seem to go well, but he still wasn't getting any call-backs. I knew that God's timing was perfect and that He had a school picked out just for Joshua, but it was still pretty stressful.

Turns out, on the day school actually started, Joshua was offered a job at Ballard High School, which is actually a very high-performing school in the district. I'm excited for him to be there. The administration seems to appreciate the faculty and the students and parents have said NOTHING negative on all the reviews I have found online. I also like the area, so when we do decide to buy a house, I know we'll be able to find something nice nearby.

I know Joshua is frustrated now because he has to jump right into school without being able to set up him classroom and I know lesson planning will make him crazy. He'll catch up, though, and I know he is thankful to be at a great school, no matter how long it took to get there. God is good all the time!

Oh, and the kids thing... we're workin' on a 3rd now in case you missed that. I know, I'm going to have 3 kids under 2.5 years old. I know, I'm crazy. Again, He's got it under control.

We started our day off very much like yesterday, cuddling and playing with our little Marshwiggles.




























After the boys napped, we got them in their swimming trunks and headed to the pool for a cookout at our friend's apartment complex. Usually, Canaan loves the pool and Micah kind of whines while clinging to me the majority of the time. This time, though, they both enjoyed it. They have their own sunglasses, but they would rather wear mine.