Black Bean Brownies

That's right, black bean brownies. I've been wanting to try this for a while. I read on a weight watchers recipe site that you can combine a boxed brownie mix with one can of pureed black beans to make delicious, low fat brownies. I never tried it because Joshua was horrified at the thought.

Yesterday, I was at home, craving some brownies. I was out of eggs, but I had some black beans. I also didn't have a brownie mix, though, so I developed my own recipe after pulling from several different recipes I found online. Here it is:

1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (this is all I had, so I was scared, but they are so yummy!)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
2 1/4 cups sugar
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 (15oz) can black beans, drained and then filled with new water
1 tsp vanilla (I actually probably put in a tbsp-- I always add more vanilla!)
1 cup of water
chocolate chips to sprinkle on top (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 350 F
2. Combine dry ingredients.
3. Rinse black beans until water runs clear. Add beans back to can and then fill the can with new water. Puree black beans in blender.
4. Mix pureed black beans, water, and vanilla.
5. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir until well combined.
6. Bake in 9x13" baking dish (I did mine in an 8x8"; they were too thick and took forever to bake!) in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes. Edges should be slightly puffy and starting to pull away from sides and the middle should be firm. Let cool before cutting. Enjoy!

Nap Time Ponderings

I have so many thoughts running through my head today-- so many goals I am setting for myself. At nap time, I poured myself a cup of coffee and went to pick a book off the shelf. There were four that I had to choose from that I desperately want to read right now, but at the most, I have two hours to read. I couldn't choose between The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery, Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge, Honey for a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt, or Running into Water by Angela Blycker. Basically, do I want read to be indulgent, work on my marriage, learn about teaching my children to love to read, or about being a mother who pursues God with all her passion and strength.

First, I chose to be indulgent. I read the first chapter of The Blue Castle, and as reading L.M. Montgomery always does, it made me want to write again. So now, I have the choice to read or write. Instead of moving on to any of these other books, I decided to pull out my Bible and journal.

I read Ephesians 4 and 5, which is not a good idea when you have already given yourself the task of reading four books at once. There are so many things in those two chapters to chew on-- so much that makes you say, "Yes, I need to do that." For example, "Be completely humble and gentle, bearing with one another in love." Or, "Be very careful, then, how you live-- not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

Good grief. Now, I want to read, I want to write, I want to study God's Word, I want to pray, I want to be kind and gentle, I want to get into shape, I want to get my entire house to be clean at one time and keep it that way, I want to be freaking super mom and the best wife a man could ask for. Dear Lord, how do I become this woman before the clock strikes 12PM and my boys start to call for me from their cribs?

Thankfully, I'm not required to become this woman during nap time. I can rest in God's grace and ask for the strength to tackle these goals one at a time and the wisdom to know in what order they should be accomplished. The beauty of being a mom is that one nap time at a time, I can read a little, I can get a little cleaning done here and there, and I can pray that as my little boys grow and get to know me, they will see a woman who is working to become the person that our Heavenly Father has called her to be.

As I sit on the couch in my living room, light is pouring in through the blinds and spilling itself in long lines across the carpet. I am reminded of some verses I read today in Ephesians about light exposing our deeds. My first goal for the day is to live in the light. Let me be exposed for what I am, and may I be transparent in front of my children. I am a broken, hurting soul in need of repair by my Savior. As each day passes, I pray that He heals me piece by piece and that my sons witness my transformation over the next eighteen years. I want them to see the work that Jesus will do in me. For every book I read, for every page I write, for every floor I scrub, for every moment I pray for Him to change the tune in my heart, I will be one step closer to living a life worthy of the calling I have received.